Out of the wilderness

Okay so 14 months ago after being ‘rather uncomfortable’ for 17 hours, I finally had to admit defeat and allow doctors to send in ‘Search and Rescue’ to fetch my son who turned out to be 4,340 kg, with a head circumference of 39 cm and 59 cm long/tall. If you were in that hospital that day I was the woman who through gritted teeth chanted NO CAESARIAN. NO CAESARIAN. I WILL NEVER EVER HAVE A CAESARIAN! In hindsight, I’m grateful that doctors overruled me because baby nappies are expensive on their own – don’t think the budget would’ve allowed for adult nappies as well! I went to hospital at 03:00 am and was given an epidural at 12:00 pm. By the time I was wheeled into theatre I could start feeling my legs and told my anaesthetist who then ‘topped-up’ my epidural as he put it. The top up didn’t seem to kick in on time as I could feel them rooting in my gut and told them. They gave me the option of being put under as you can imagine feeling people rooting in your gut is not a pleasant experience. I was just about able to hear my son’s first cries and all I saw of him was these huge bollocks and a red angry face and then I was out!
Once I came to I saw this mewling little ‘old man’ who demanded me 24/7 and so I rushed headlong into this mindbend called motherhood. My son is now 14 months, weighs 13 kgs, is 84 cm tall and moves at the speed of light and… I am still breastfeeding. I was on maternity leave for three months and my husband has been with him ever since.
I am now slowly coming out of the stupor that is motherhood and firstly am struggling to reconnect to the world. I’ve had a bit of a crash course in reality and how the more things change the more they stay the same… thanks to Joostgate, Rihannagate and all the other gates that have been swung open unceremoniously since Feb.
I’m so torn between people who go – as soon as your suckling turns 1 – take them off the breast and the World Health Organisation who says suckle them until they turn 2. I went as far as buying the tabs to dry up my milk supply but I’m just too much of a wuss to take them. I LOVE coming home from work and having my monster run to me and start digging his head into my chest and making little coo-ing sounds. I LOVE that no matter how crap my day was I have this little man who thinks the world revolves around me and thinks I’m just the best ever. I LOVE the way I can be how icky sticky sweaty after the drive home, he still finds my boobs the best and nuzzles his head under my sweaty armpit without crinkling his nose! But most of all I LOVE the way he looks deep into my eyes at the end of the day when he’s about to fall asleep and I see all his potential and he sees the sanctuary and refuge I provide and how he slowly falls asleep with his mouth around one breast and his hand on the other! At the risk of sounding like a Mastercard ad… PRICELESS.
I do not however LOVE my little monster when in the middle of the night he demands a comfort feed and just has his mouth wrapped around my boob – not sucking, mind – and I have to lie on my side and am not allowed to move as he has one leg between my legs and the other on my hip. I do not LOVE the little tyke when he wakes up even if his Dad just has a ‘dirty’ thought  before we even move closer to each other! And I most certainly did NOT LOVE him when at 13,5 months his first real word was Dadda instead of Mamma! My heart was broken like only a drama mama’s heart can be broken!
It’s amazing to see how certain behavioural things are genetic and others are environmental. I see so much of the things I did as a kid and in some cases still do in him and I marvel at genetics. I love the way he’s inherited a really good mix of our senses of humour, our looks and of course intelligence (Makes the R500 a month I spent on prenatal vitamins worth every bleeding cent!)
So now to get to the point of all of this… It’s time for ME to reclaim a little bit of my life back and first on the list is a GOOD CHIROPRACTOR in Cape Town… Anyone out there who can recommend one with preferably more than one testimonial to realign a mommy’s body who’s been sleeping on her side, on a sliver of her KING sized bed for the past 14 months – yes… we co-sleep and he’s been in our bed since day one – yup, it’s come to bite us in the bum as Lord Muck refuses to sleep in his campcot in our room for too long – NO don’t even ask about the nursery that’s gathering dust on the other side of the house!

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30 thoughts on “Out of the wilderness

  1. ebonyandivory

    Hi hi you, what a great post!! And welcome to sprogblogland!! I loved reading this!! Have a great day!

    Reply
  2. ebonyandivory

    Hi hi you, what a great post!! And welcome to sprogblogland!! I loved reading this!! Have a great day!

    Reply
  3. mom2adoreblekids

    helo sweetie welcome ur son reminds me of my baba she is almost 8mnths old and also clings to my tieties lol

    Reply
  4. mom2adoreblekids

    helo sweetie welcome ur son reminds me of my baba she is almost 8mnths old and also clings to my tieties lol

    Reply
  5. weebee

    welcome, loved reading your posti had chloe on the breast till 13 months, and loved every moment (even the difficult ones)! I love the fact that she only wants her night time bottle if I hold her very close and we cuddle 🙂

    Reply
  6. weebee

    welcome, loved reading your posti had chloe on the breast till 13 months, and loved every moment (even the difficult ones)! I love the fact that she only wants her night time bottle if I hold her very close and we cuddle 🙂

    Reply
  7. shazdart

    Welcome, what a great post this is, everything will work out in it’s own good time, despite our best intentions!Look forward to the next post.

    Reply
  8. shazdart

    Welcome, what a great post this is, everything will work out in it’s own good time, despite our best intentions!Look forward to the next post.

    Reply
  9. Sumanda

    Welcome. You’ve just described the first 14 months of my eldest :-D.I weaned him on 14 months, because I couldn’t cope with his biting anymore :-). We finally moved the kids out of our bed (and bedroom) when my eldest was 3 and youngest 1.

    Reply
  10. Sumanda

    Welcome. You’ve just described the first 14 months of my eldest :-D.I weaned him on 14 months, because I couldn’t cope with his biting anymore :-). We finally moved the kids out of our bed (and bedroom) when my eldest was 3 and youngest 1.

    Reply
  11. rochelle.barrish

    Hoo boy… don’t start me on the biting! It starts slowly, softly, gently and then as my face contorts it’s as if he gets some sort of kick out of me doing these ‘funny faces’ and I have to carefully extract my nipple from his vice-like grip and still love him and not shout and most importantly of all fight my VERY NATURAL instinct of not slapping the s**t out of him for biting the holy of holies!

    Reply
  12. rochelle.barrish

    Hoo boy… don’t start me on the biting! It starts slowly, softly, gently and then as my face contorts it’s as if he gets some sort of kick out of me doing these ‘funny faces’ and I have to carefully extract my nipple from his vice-like grip and still love him and not shout and most importantly of all fight my VERY NATURAL instinct of not slapping the s**t out of him for biting the holy of holies!

    Reply
  13. youunlimited

    Welcome to Sprogblogs Shell 😉 Loved reading your post. I wouldn’t pay attention to anyone telling you should stop breastfeeding. And as for his first word being Dadda – that’s normal – The Da sound is the first recognisable English sound our kids make.

    Reply
  14. youunlimited

    Welcome to Sprogblogs Shell 😉 Loved reading your post. I wouldn’t pay attention to anyone telling you should stop breastfeeding. And as for his first word being Dadda – that’s normal – The Da sound is the first recognisable English sound our kids make.

    Reply
  15. Collywolly

    HAHA!!! Welcome to blogland Shell. and thanx for the laughs…..hehe…UM!! Those seal teeth………you will know when to STOP breastfeeding without anyone telling you when to :o) xxx

    Reply
  16. Collywolly

    HAHA!!! Welcome to blogland Shell. and thanx for the laughs…..hehe…UM!! Those seal teeth………you will know when to STOP breastfeeding without anyone telling you when to :o) xxx

    Reply

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