Just got back from a conference our company had at the CTICC. Was my first and it was waaay informative. But the food — oh the food.. why? I’m hoping the food was crap because our company took the recession menu but I’ve been to other do’s at the CTICC and I’ve alwasy been a bit underwhelmed. Anybody been to a do at the CTICC where the food was delish?
Morning sproggers. Had a really scary incident yesterday. We were doing the Sunday morning breakfast in the lounge(used to be bedroom pre T) while reading newspapers ritual and I was sitting on the floor about to take my first sip of coffee. Thomas was occupying himself a few feet from me and husband was sitting on his little patch of rug eating and reading. Thomas sort of flitted between us — he’d walk up to us, give us a cuddle or kiss or just touch base and go back to what he was doing. He had just touched base with me and I thought he was back on his way to his toys so I lifted my STEAMING cup of coffee and prepared to take a sip. He decided to come back to me for some reason and sort of pounced on me. I knew that one of us was going to burn and as much as my survival instinct wanted it to not be me, my maternal instinct was a bajillion times stronger and I actually saw myself in slow motion turning the cup onto my chest (which was the ‘safest’ option). In that split second of NOOO I don’t want to burn and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don’t want my baby to burn I almost had an out of body experience… It’s really weird and powerful… Everything in my body told me not to turn the cup my way and I think my chest actually went as concave as concave can be — if I had no boobs I might not have burnt. But something way more urgent and I suppose primal overruled my body’s “I don’t want to burn” message and made me turn that cup onto me rather than having Thomas burn. I screamed like I don’t think I even screamed during labour and T got a huge fright but he was fine. Husband took care of T while I ran for the icepacks and cold shower. I’m fine – just shaken and a bit uncomfortable – wearing a very flimsy soft feeding bra today as the area’s a bit sensitive but we’ll be okay. Have any of you had a brush with the Maternal instinct?
Reading Minki’s post made me think back to my Minki-moment! I was doing freelance work while on maternity leave and on a particularly bad day for T – my clients decided that we should have a meeting. I did the meeting – very professionally and husband SMSed to ask if he could bring T around for a quick top-up as he didn’t want to take his bottle. We did the top-up, they left and our meeting readjourned. It was shortly after my 6 week check up and I was still floating on account of all the weight I had lost! Thought I was just the sexiest Momshell (Bombshell+Mom) in the WORLD. I was talking and pointing to things on the screen (hate those flippen laser jobs – can never get them to point where I want to be!). Anyhoo I was pointing to something I was really proud of and did so with a flourish and suddenly realised that I had not ‘holstered’ the boob that T had suckled on – it was jiggling all over the place under my very flimsy shirt. There were mostly males in the room and the dirty bastards must have enjoyed the show because none of them said anything! I only became aware of it with that big ‘flourish thingie’ I did. And it was at the stage where it was big and round like a pornstar’s… so it must have been a VERY good show. I excused myself, saying that I had to go and holster my WMN (weapon of mass nutrition) and came back to carry on.
A schoolmate of mine who lives in England has just been out. I took leave this week and been showing her around town. Wow -it really is refreshing to see your city through a tourist’s eye — even though my ‘tourist’ is an ex-pat. You just have this whole new appreciation for your hometown. Left me feeling so refreshed and in love with CT.
A 3-year-old tells all from his mother’s restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin
My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It’s always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing times that I’ve wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-s o-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
”Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?”
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full … 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued: ”Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren’t you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh…Mommy! I’m trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!”
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ”Why don’t you look in Mommy’s purse and see if you can find some candy. We’ll both have some!”
”No , I’m trying to see doze more stinkies…Oh! Mommy!”
He started to gag at this point.
”Uh – oh, Mommy. I fink I’m gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!”
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the
subject.. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
”Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!”
He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ”Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady’s feet?”
More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.
”Mommy, it’s time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.” He started pounding on the door. ”Mommy, don’t you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!”
I saw that my wait ’em out’ plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.
My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, where’s the fine print on the ‘motherhood contract’ where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I’d sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.
(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public restrooms)
You must pass this on to all the mothers who have had embarrassing moments with their children. Isn’t it great to be a parent!!!
I’ve been adamant from the start that Thomas will NOT be exposed to too much TV. Then along came Cbeebies and he loves it. Now we have 15 mins of Cbeebies a day max and on weekends, especially he has ‘a bit more’ in the morning. Other mommies I know feel I am too anal about the TV thing and should let him watch as much as it’s ‘educational’. I’m not too convinced though as I feel the act of watching TV and getting into it is bad for his age – he should be figuring his toys out and ‘reading’ his books. Am I too anal? Will Thomas be the only kid in his class who doesn’t know Ben 10 and Spiderman, Wrestlemania et al when the time comes?!