Sumanda’s Coitus Interuptus story the other day made me think back to pre Thomas when I was reading all those baby books to see what’s in store for me. One of the funniest bits I remember was the bit about having sex and your new baby. I remember while reading it thinking – Jeez how difficult can it be? You put baby in its room and you bonk! Finish en Klaar (as Jackie Selebi famously said)! Well… the writer of this book went on to describe the case of the Bucking Baby. Apparently this couple were getting it on with baba in bed (asleep) Baba was more of a toddler though so it could move about and get up. Mom and Dad got carried away (as you do) and the next thing they know… their little girl was on top of Daddy’s back urging Daddy to riiiiiiiide!!!! She thought they were playing their horsey game they usually played!!!! I laughed so hard I think I weed (I was about 7 months along by then). Needless to say I was completely horrified and told husband that we were NEVER to do it with baba in bed, even if he’s just a little two month old blob who can’t move about.
On that note my DUFs
1) I want to wear my summer frocks and pretty sandals with brightly painted toenails.
2) I want to have garden parties with lots of chilled wine and the warm sun on my back.
1) Going to the Barnyard farmstall tomorrow – can’t wait to see T’s reaction to farm animals!
2) Going to sleep late tomorrow, yay!
1) Summer’s coming
2) Summer frocks and pretty sandals to look fwd to.
Our pictures ed went for lunch with one of our suppliers yesterday and it being a beautiful day and all, they had a few glasses of wine. The rest of us who stayed behind then teased her when she got back – telling her that she reeked of alcohol. Made me think back to my ex boss’ divorce.
On the day that her divorce was finalised, a bunch of us went to celebrate at the local down the road. Those of us who worked for her were obviously not worried about coming back to the offish because we had our bosslady with us but there were others from other divisions who were supposed to be out for their lunch hour only. Anyhoo things got completely out of hand as we drank and did some manbashing for about five hours. We were all horribly drunk and husbands, boyfriends, friends, flatmates and parents had to be called to fetch. Two of the really drunk ones had to go back to the office and pretend to have been there all day and hope that their boss had not noticed that they were away and that they were now totally pissed.
This is what happened: They had to pass their boss’ office to get to their section. So firstly, they get out of the lift and “shh, shh’ each other. Then there’s the hiccups and giggles! Then B tells P that she thinks if they leopard crawl past Boss’ office they’re home free. So more Shhh, shhh, hic,hic and giggles. They finally manage to stop the giggles but still shh shhusing. So they did the drunken leopard crawl as the bottom of Boss’ office is board and the glass starts at about 1,5 m from the floor. Funny thing is boss wasn’t in her office – she was in a meeting but everyone else on the floor watched this spectacle and as it was before the cellphones with camera era, there were unfortunately no camera footage but ask anyone who was there today and they’d be able to tell you in great detail about B and P’s drunken leopard crawl with hics, giggles and shh shh!
The party girl was driven home by one of the more soberer of us and her poor son and new boyfriend had to deal with the newly divorced passed out party girl. Poor new bf wanted to take her out for sups that night and had booked table and alles. He was sitting in her lounge in a tux when she was bundled out of her car!
Isn’t it funny how when we’ve had a few glasses during lunch and have to return to work, how super efficient we become and how we shh shh each other to not let on that we’re a bit tipsy!
A colleague just brought in a Barney doll for my son and I just had to share my Barney story with you. I was still happily single and took my nephew (then 3) to a Barney ‘do’ at Cavendish Mall. We were all squished into Dreyer street (the little road that runs between Cavendish and The Link) and Barney’s little makeshift podium was set up on the pavement. It was a hot day and Barney took his bleeding time to appear. When he finally appeared he greeted everybody and got onto his podium to start his schpiel. It was “I love you and you love me” for what felt like forever to my singleton ears. Next moment Barney disappeared and there was a hullabaloo. Turns out Barney got carried away and misjudged his step and fell off his podium. Which would’ve been ok if his head didn’t come rolling off the pavement into the crowd!!! The last thing I remember before panic and pandemonium descended was traumatised cries of “Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Barney dead!!” I took my nephew away from the pandemonium as I didn’t want my sister spending all her remaining med aid benefits on trauma counselling for her son. Wonder if any of the kids there that day had to go for post traumatic counselling or if Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee was able to explain that this Barney is a human in a suit and that the ‘real’ Barney is still alive and well? Were any of you guys there that day?
finally went to nursery school yesterday. Took me an entire month to get used to the idea after wussing out in July. We got out of the car, he ran to the gate and dove right into the toy box. Husband and I stood twiddling our thumbs just watching our little man explore. He hardly bothered to say goodbye to us. Was shattered…
He was not as excited this morning but was still in exploratory mode. At least got a bit of a protest out of him when we left.