I dunno about the other mommies out there with toddlers but I feel used… Thomas (22 months) ONLY ever calls me Mama:
1) At night when he wakes up and needs a cuddle
2) When he really needs me – like to give him juice or an apple or something that Dad has refused to give him
3) When he’s been a brat and I ignore him a little.
The rest of the time, I’m Daddy or “ee ee ee”. Now I’ve put a fair bit of time, love and energy into this relationship and he still calls me Daddy? How does this work. He knows who I am… he knows what to call me when he really needs me and wants to butter me up, so why can I not be Mama ALL the time? It’s a bit like your current squeeze calling out the name of his ex in the throes of passion — SO NOT ON!
Another thing is kisses… He’s like a cat – love and affection on my terms, when I feel like dishing it out. My fave refrain is: “Kiss your Mama! – NO (with giggle), Kiss your Mama! – NO (with more giggles), Kiss your MAMA! – NO (with full blown belly laugh!). Daddy gets kisses whenever and wherever… I suppose the fact that I only spent 3 months at home with him and Daddy spent 18 months at home with him has something to do with it, hey? Blast… I’m so not doing the Superwoman/mommy thing next time around. But with my sort of luck, I’ll probably spend the first FIVE years with the child and it will still say Daddy first! Can’t win.
Yowzer – whoever ticked off the weathergods best make amends before tonight. Ek dink nie my swak hart sal nog ‘n woeste nag oorleef nie! I lay awake from about 02h30 fearing for my life, the house, the car and practically everything that wasn’t anchored down. It was wild here in the city, man! And guess what? Thomas slept right through all of this — weird how he wakes up if we flush the loo, which is next to his room, but last night’s armageddon type weather does nothing to him. Sod’s law at it’s best. I looked out the bedroom window and just saw buckets of water coming down with pellets of hail and lots of thunder and lightning. Was both amazing and scary.
Anyway just to be safe today, I decided not to wear an underwire bra — death by lightning conducted by your bra’s underwire doesn’t strike me as one of the most gracious ways to shuffle off. So I’m wearing one of my floppy feeding bras and my puppies are all over the place. Feels like I’m about to trip over them at any second now. And if you know me, you’ll know that I swear by underwire bras. They complete me, they make me what I am. Without them, I cannot walk upright and my knuckles drag on the floor! That’s how scary the lightning was… enough to make me forsake my blessed underwire. Which reminds me of a joke I love… You know it’s going to be a BAD day if you put your bra on backwards… AND IT FITS! Whaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!
Have a good Monday and be safe!
My little sister’s valedictory today. Where has the time gone? She was 3 the other day!
My little sister leaves school today and starts her final exams soon.
Same sister has three bursaries/scholarships based on her excellent results.
Thomas is still sleeping like — dare I say it — a baby!
The MOB — even though no one seconded my change of venue to Santorini!
Spending time with my happy little family.
I saw the silly Vanilla Ice ad tonight and was relieved that Thomas’ generation will be spared that… but then there’s so much other icky music out there! *SIGH*
Thomas did a bit of a Vanilla Ice a while back. check these pics!
Baggy pants and hoody to boot!
Right. So before big boy bed there was family bed. BIG family bed but Mommy and Daddy slept on slivers of bed on each side and Lord Muck was in the centre. Not comfortable, not conducive to a happy, healthy marriage.
When we moved him to his campcot next to our bed there were lots of tears. Mostly mine! He would fall asleep in our bed and I would transfer him when he was asleep. Or he would fall asleep on my lap in the rocking chair and I’d put him in his cot. The second he woke up, he would stand up and scream to be let back into family bed. I allowed this to happen for far too long as I was tired and at night he only wanted ME not Daddy. We came very close to having a huge fight about this. But I knew I was the problem. Husband would try to soothe him and he’d persevere through all the kicking and screaming and punching but I’d be the one who couldn’t bear it.
Until one night when I was just dead tired and needed to SLEEP. I put Thomas in his cot, slung my one arm over the rail, patted and patted and fell asleep. Once I stopped patting he started howling but I was beyond my limit. Told husband to leave him and let him cry it out. He used to cry for anything from 5 to 15 minutes and I just let him. My reasoning was you’re fed, dry and not in pain… so sleep. And all he wanted was to get to my BOOBIES. Once he understood that Mommy had shut shop for the night, he quickly cut down his crying time as well. And so with a little less crying every night we got to where we are today. There were of course nights when I could hear it wasn’t just a ‘I want to be in your bed and under your boobies’ cry and that something was amiss. On those nights it was either the ear infection he had during that time and the last bits of his molars breaking through his gums. And on those nights I held him tight and had him in bed with us.
Once Thomas understood that A: It’s possible to sleep away from Mommy and survive and B: that when he wakes up Mommy WILL be there and C: Mommy is no longer falling for the fake crying that usually led to him being set free from his cot . . . things went a whole lot better at night. He started drinking milk formula for the first time at 18 months. Because the kids at creche still drink bottles he started asking for a bottle as well. It’s so funny now. He first asks me for ‘booby’ at night and when I tell him no booby, he then asks for bottie. And when we cuddle in the morning I still give him booby if he’s just too irresistable! So an ocean of tears later – some very fake tears too – I can say that my version of controlled crying and self soothing worked and I survived the snot and tears. And every bit of that “Oh I’m a crap mother” jol that echoes through those long, lonely and hard hours when they cry is all forgotten once they sleep through.
We also had fun getting his trike together. Decided to get one of these as they’re just so handy! Parents can steer and little one just has to sit there until they can pedal.
If you don’t have one yet, get one… really is a great buy and good for when they start getting tired of their prams. This way you still control where they go but they think they’re on their own!