Monthly Archives: September 2010

Helter skelter, baby’s here.

I was busy washing and packing all Thomas’ baby clothes and stuff for E&I and ‘Bytjie’ these past few days and I was getting all nostalgic and wondering how I could find a way to go deliver the stuff myself and get to meet this special little person…

Today something told me to get into contact with a good friend of mine as we hadn’t chatted for a while. She answered my first SMS with a ‘i have a secret’ and the second SMS with ‘ do you still have T’s bottles’ and on it went until I asked her what she was busy with. Turns out she’s decided to be an emergency foster mom to a month old baby boy who’s mom is a tik addict with 5 children. Scary.

So most of today and tonight was spent getting stuff to her and playing with beautiful boy. Didn’t want to take pics as I’m not sure how she feels about it and she was still very overwhelmed. I’m so proud of her as she is a single mom. Just got back now and besides being tired, I’m incredibly broody!

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UFs

Yup, you read right… Ufs. My recent health scare and Tania’s gratitude challenge forbids me to do Downs.

Ups:

Braai with my folks and fam tomorrow… yay!

Feeling better and stronger

First and only public holiday this year on which I don’t have to work

Spending time with my boys

Forwards:

Starting at a new division in our company next week

Getting to write more in my new position

Getting away from the gruelling hours of a weekly magazine and being able to tuck Thomas in every night

My apptmnt with cardio on 12 Oct to determine if my meds have helped with my heart failure

Favourites…

My favourite child is … Thomas!

My favourite man … Elton (DH)

My favourite woman … Glendyr (aka the best mom in the WWW – a good friend’s mom)

My favourite colleague is Hannelie (or Hannobie as Thomas called her last night)

My favourite oldie is/was my Ouma – she is/was cool.

My favourite cat is all the cats I ever had

My favourite dog is a friend’s labbie

I loooooooove Dolly Parton (no ugly comments, please!)

My favourite band is U2

I was telling DH about the NATIONAL MOB that I missed where the majority of the Sprogbloggers were and promptly got preggers or started TTCing. Thinking about my favourites made me think of why I’m so reluctant to have a 2nd child beside the obvious financial reasons and now lately the health. I am undoubtedly a person who has favourites and I make no secret of it. I tell people you are my favouritest ____ in the WWW. And they know it because my actions and deeds show it. I cannot hide it. And if I don’t dig you, my actions and deeds also leaves no doubt. I’m not nasty or rude (unless you are) … I’m more indifferent to people I don’t care for.

And I know that if I have a 2nd child and I just don’t click with him/her gaan daar perde wees! I am incapable of hiding my displeasure. I don’t have a poker face. Never have, never will.

Another reason I’m scared of having another child is that (and here I am touching wood, knocking on wood, clutching my four leaf clover and really not trying to be a smug mum) Thomas has been and is the healthiest and most easy-going child I have EVER come across. Except of course for his monster teething phase and the weaning-off-the-sleeping-on-the-boob phase. He was a robustly healthy baby and has always had a clean bill of health. Now I’m a big believer in Karma and heck my health karma completely skipped him… all those years partying up a storm and not being too kind to my body HAS to come bite me in the bum, surely… what’s that sins of the mothers… thing or is it fathers? And of course all the sleepless nights I gave my poor parents! So I reckon if the health karma skipped him, the 2nd child won’t be as lucky. Husband pointed out that with my recent medical dramas, I’ve def got my health karma quota dusted but … my twenties were wild, boys and girls… I’m not sure I’m done paying yet!

They don’t make newlyweds like they used to…

This is something that’s been bothering me since I got married. I remember how I felt before , during and after getting married. Heck you had to scrape me off the ceiling! I loved the run-up, loved the ceremony and jol afterwards and especially loved the honeymoon!

It therefore baffles me when newlyweds I know come back from their honeymoon and they’re like blah, meh, whatever. I had a wrap-around smile for ages and still do, actually and my tummy still bounces when I catch sight of my husband unexpectedly or when he comes home after being away without me. PS: My tummy bounces externally too nowadays after giving birth but that’s a story for another day!

Why are so many newlyweds so bleh. I have three newlyweds at work who got married recently and they’re just so bleh, meh. There was no big excitement about the wedding. Heck, those of us who were planning their parties here at work were more excited than them! One of them recently celebrated their first anni… I excitedly asked what their plans were and he looked at me as if I had gone mad. He said it was a normal day and eve. It’s not like it’s a 10th or 20th… Hmmm, I dunno. And I wasn’t expecting him to take her to the Mount Nelson or a helicopter flip, but a simple but nice celebration is surely not too much?

Anyone else notice this or is just my newlyweds who are catatonic?

Being an assistant nurse is SO tiring!

It was the end of term for his Monkeynastix class last week and they got these caps and medals. He’s insisted on wearing the cap every day since he got it. He pulled the cap down because the sun was bothering him and next thing we heard these soft snores coming from the back of the car!

When doctors are stumped…

Okay, so I’ve always been an overachiever, except for Maths and Science (we’re just not compatible).

But there are certain times and certain things that you don’t want to be one-of-a-kind of…

Murphy has been very busy with me this year and I’ve managed to maintain my sense of humour about things because I’m a big girl, mos. But when he starts messing with precious little newborns (Hopeful Mom’s Precious) I can’t help but get angry and lose my dinges.

When my cardio diagnosed viral cardiomyopathy (inflammation of the heart muscle), once the shock settled in and I asked questions, there were a lot of ‘we dunnos’. If anyone of you have ever had a bloodtest done by Pathcare, you know what the form looks like, right? I had EVERY block on that form ticked (except the illegal drugs) and was tested for alles. And they could not figure out what virus it was that attacked the heart muscle. The best possible way to identify the virus is to take a slice of inefcted heart muscle but that’s too risky if the heart muscle is already in distress. So I’m a bit like someone suffering from Alzheimer’s — this disease of the brain can only be diagnosed after you’re dead (for obvious reasons). Except in my case, my virus can also be identified once my heart is replaced by another (if push comes to shove). Until then, there are lots of unanswered questions and no answers.

Then we move onto my ears… 4 weeks after I leave hospital my hearing suddenly and drastically goes for a ball of poo. Just like that. No warning. No hearing in one ear and limited hearing in the other. Why? GP thinks its one of my meds, cardio says no it’s too low a dose. ENT guy says same virus ‘what got your heart’, Audiologist says ‘how on Earth are you coping with this limited hearing? You should have hearing aids!’

Niiiice. Just what I needed to hear now. ENT puts me on cortisone (YUCK) for ten days and says come see me when the cortisone is finished, hoping that the cortisone will fix what he doesn’t know. I go back after ten days and my hearing has improved slightly but the patterns of my hearing test points to something else. There’s a doo-icky that connects your ear to your brain…  and wait for it… in 4 in a 1000 people this doo-icky grows a wart-like device and kills your hearing! I like being 4 in 1000 but not for hearing loss… why not outstanding IQ or something fab like good body fat ratio or summat?!

I now have to have some SPECIAL MRI  to have a look at my doo-icky and see if my doo-icky is 4 in 1000. If my doo-icky has warts, then they can zap it off apparently. If not, then this is as good as my hearing will get and I have to go back to ENT guy once a year to check my hearing and make sure it doesn’t deteriorate. End of story and of course lots of unanswered questions too.

Now I know that I have lots to be grateful for but surely I deserve answers to my questions too… Anyhoo, my mantra is I live to see my gorgeous son for another day and I get to hear his sweet voice. All I need at the end of the day.

Here’s to all the ‘overachievers’ out there who have their doctors stumped. We shall overcome.

Hearing aids are discreet nowadays…

Yup, I’ve been to the ENT guy and audiologist and I’ve lost 50% hearing in my right ear and 40% hearing in my left ear! ENT guy reckons the nerves in my ear have been klapped by the same virus ‘what did my heart in’. Gmff.

Must say I’ve been very Zen about this whole thing and even the thought of not being able to hear as well as I used to without the help of hearing aids, hasn’t fazed me either.

Tania has the right idea with her gratefulness list. Since this whole heart saga started, I’m just gratefeul to be alive. Full stop. I can breathe fairly easy again, I don’t need to be hooked up to oxygen or other machines, my heart is doing great on it’s own, I don’t need an external pump just yet. I can breathe and live on my own. Grateful. So what if I can’t hear that well. So what if it becomes a permanent loss of hearing. I can still see and there are certain sounds I will NEVER forget… Thomas’ first cry, his laughter, his voice, loved ones’ voices, etc. I must just make sure I ‘back-up’ all my sounds just in case they disappear.

So the deal with my hearing now is that I’ve been on cortisone for 7 days – 3 more days to go. I go back to ENT guy on Tuesday to have the same tests I had two weeks ago and if there’s no improvement, I will need hearing aids. If the damage is not permanent, I dunno what he plans to do.

Amazing how this whole experience has competely shifted my focus. I really no longer sweat the small stuff and you know those misplaced guilt feelings we all have about all sorts of trivial kack? All gone. I feel so much lighter and free-er to say NO, I don’t want to, No, it doesn’t suit me, No, I’d rather spend the time with my family, No, I don’t really like you that much. It is just so bloody free-ing.

Try it, you’ll never look back!

Thanks to all of you who always checks up on me. Great to know that I’m missed 🙂

PS: The header of this post is what ENT said to me just before my Zen-nes ran out and my eyes started ‘leaking’. Luckily DH was with me to catch me.