Monthly Archives: March 2012

Cause of death? Her underwire bra!

Thanks to some weird virus-sy thing that my doctors weren’t able to identify, I have a weakened left ventricle and my heart pumps blood at less than half of what it should be doing.

Things are settled now and I’m on meds for life and if things deteriorate, I have the pleasure of harvesting an enemy’s heart and getting it transplanted into me. πŸ™‚

All good and well. Something I noticed when I came out of hospital after this palaver, was wearing an underwire bra was no longer comfortable. The first time it happened, I thought it was a heart attack! There was a tight feeling and some dull aching happening. After a process of elimination, I realised it was my underwire bra.

I am a strong proponent of the underwire bra. If you have melons like mine, you need some upliftment. And if your suckling sucks until age three . . . you know where I’m going with this.

If I don’t wear underwire I might trip over them, if I do, the wire might just trigger a heart attack. And I know some Smart Alec is going to suggest I wear a bigger size bra… I am and my heart still does not like underwire. But I do. So I will wear it.

I was in a meeting this morning and felt very uncomfortable. Realised I either have a wind or my underwire is at it again. Stood up during the meeting and told my colleagues I either have a wind or having a heart attack and did the rest of the meeting standing up.

Even sent DH a WhatsApp telling him where my letters to him and Thomas are stashed . . .

PS: I think it was a wind because I’m still wearing my bra but feeling much better.

PPS: Do you know how difficult it is “wind” yourself? I really sympathise with babies.

PPPS: No winds were let out in the meeting.