Cause of death? Her underwire bra!

Thanks to some weird virus-sy thing that my doctors weren’t able to identify, I have a weakened left ventricle and my heart pumps blood at less than half of what it should be doing.

Things are settled now and I’m on meds for life and if things deteriorate, I have the pleasure of harvesting an enemy’s heart and getting it transplanted into me. πŸ™‚

All good and well. Something I noticed when I came out of hospital after this palaver, was wearing an underwire bra was no longer comfortable. The first time it happened, I thought it was a heart attack! There was a tight feeling and some dull aching happening. After a process of elimination, I realised it was my underwire bra.

I am a strong proponent of the underwire bra. If you have melons like mine, you need some upliftment. And if your suckling sucks until age three . . . you know where I’m going with this.

If I don’t wear underwire I might trip over them, if I do, the wire might just trigger a heart attack. And I know some Smart Alec is going to suggest I wear a bigger size bra… I am and my heart still does not like underwire. But I do. So I will wear it.

I was in a meeting this morning and felt very uncomfortable. Realised I either have a wind or my underwire is at it again. Stood up during the meeting and told my colleagues I either have a wind or having a heart attack and did the rest of the meeting standing up.

Even sent DH a WhatsApp telling him where my letters to him and Thomas are stashed . . .

PS: I think it was a wind because I’m still wearing my bra but feeling much better.

PPS: Do you know how difficult it is “wind” yourself? I really sympathise with babies.

PPPS: No winds were let out in the meeting.

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39 thoughts on “Cause of death? Her underwire bra!

  1. Helen_77

    Hehe on the winds. DH tells me to kneel down and then tuck my head under my chest, basically into a little ball. Then lift my bum into the air keeping my head and elbow on the floorWorks for me.PS, so glad the winds didn’t disrupt the meeting.

    Reply
  2. Helen_77

    Hehe on the winds. DH tells me to kneel down and then tuck my head under my chest, basically into a little ball. Then lift my bum into the air keeping my head and elbow on the floorWorks for me.PS, so glad the winds didn’t disrupt the meeting.

    Reply
  3. danile

    LOL, I know how difficult that is, I am a chronic ‘wind’ sufferer. I swear I burp more than a 100 times per daY!

    Reply
  4. danile

    LOL, I know how difficult that is, I am a chronic ‘wind’ sufferer. I swear I burp more than a 100 times per daY!

    Reply
  5. bothajs

    Just saw your ticker (no man! the one on the right of your blog, not in your chest!) – 11 months already? Seems like yesterday…

    Reply
  6. bothajs

    Just saw your ticker (no man! the one on the right of your blog, not in your chest!) – 11 months already? Seems like yesterday…

    Reply
  7. Kasc

    Hehehe I must agree with you, I love my underwires. Good luck with the winds, glad you didn’t have any slip out in the meeting πŸ™‚

    Reply
  8. Kasc

    Hehehe I must agree with you, I love my underwires. Good luck with the winds, glad you didn’t have any slip out in the meeting πŸ™‚

    Reply
  9. rochelle.barrish

    :-)And if you know anything about women, you will know that most of us suddenly get very windy after pregnancy and birth. #blindone

    Reply
  10. rochelle.barrish

    :-)And if you know anything about women, you will know that most of us suddenly get very windy after pregnancy and birth. #blindone

    Reply
  11. Sumanda

    Ek is baie gelukkig dat ek nie huge is nie. Maar dit wat daar is hang tussen my kniekoppe. Eendag wanneer ek stink ryk is gaan ek hulle laat terug sit op hulle plekke. Vir nou dra ek daai t-shirt tipe bras, want ek haat ‘n underwire soos die pes!

    Reply
  12. Sumanda

    Ek is baie gelukkig dat ek nie huge is nie. Maar dit wat daar is hang tussen my kniekoppe. Eendag wanneer ek stink ryk is gaan ek hulle laat terug sit op hulle plekke. Vir nou dra ek daai t-shirt tipe bras, want ek haat ‘n underwire soos die pes!

    Reply
  13. newmom_oldmom

    You are truly an incredible person. Making light of issues so “not light” thus I want to share with you a secret. Triumph’s sport bra. At sportsman’s warehouse for about R120-180 it comes in black or white. you can change the straps to normal or criss cross. AND then the true selling point….It is called the SHOCK ABSORBER!!! I no longer hammock my droopy goods in an underwire…the Shock absorber does the trick…even 3 years later, my shocks are still going strong!Sterkte, you super woman you!!!

    Reply
  14. newmom_oldmom

    You are truly an incredible person. Making light of issues so “not light” thus I want to share with you a secret. Triumph’s sport bra. At sportsman’s warehouse for about R120-180 it comes in black or white. you can change the straps to normal or criss cross. AND then the true selling point….It is called the SHOCK ABSORBER!!! I no longer hammock my droopy goods in an underwire…the Shock absorber does the trick…even 3 years later, my shocks are still going strong!Sterkte, you super woman you!!!

    Reply
  15. youunlimited

    Shell, on my headstone, it will say “she died laughing reading Shell’s blog posts.” I love how you make light of such challenges!I think you need a spoil at Storm in A-G cup. They will make you bra’s to fit that not only support you but are pretty and sexy too.

    Reply
  16. youunlimited

    Shell, on my headstone, it will say “she died laughing reading Shell’s blog posts.” I love how you make light of such challenges!I think you need a spoil at Storm in A-G cup. They will make you bra’s to fit that not only support you but are pretty and sexy too.

    Reply
  17. rochelle.barrish

    :-)You’re not the first to recommend that place. Think I should pop in when I have bucks again and in the meantime, try the Triumph sportsjobbie! (Thanks Chubby Mummy)

    Reply
  18. rochelle.barrish

    :-)You’re not the first to recommend that place. Think I should pop in when I have bucks again and in the meantime, try the Triumph sportsjobbie! (Thanks Chubby Mummy)

    Reply
  19. deblet

    OMW…seriously funny.Storm in a G cup are great,they will custom fit and make for you and well worth the expense for the long term comfort

    Reply
  20. ludditelass

    You are a very funny lady! Hope you find a bra that does all you need without endangering your life!

    Reply
  21. ludditelass

    Don’t know that specific sports bra but my problem is they make you look like you have a speed bump where your bosoms once were. I need something to “lift AND separate” and so far only underwire manages that feat. If Triumph does that, it will really be a triumph!

    Reply

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