Tag Archives: toilet humour

At some point, my body is going to have to be MINE.

This is usually said with exasperation because his mother is too clingy.

Applying moisturizer and sunscreen every morning is one of his least favourite things to do. And when he asks why I insist on doing it every day my standard reply is: I made that beautiful body and skin (insert teeth, nose, eyes or whatever body part is in play on any given day) and it’s my job to protect it.

Ditto when I cuddle or tickle him and he’s not in the mood. Mama, stooooooop it! No. Mama!!! No, I made this body and I can cuddle and tickle for as long as I want. Depending on his mood, I either stop or slow down. Mostly fun and I have been able to use it as a lesson for body consent and privacy.

But as with all things with kids, it can also backfire rather badly. He has been able to wipe his own bottom for years now, but a few years back we use to supervise and assist as he could use an entire loo roll for one session if left to his own devices. And to save ourselves from having to deal with a clogged loo, we used to supervise and assist where needed.  On one of those supervised sessions I said: Dude, why do I still have to help you, you can do this with less loo paper, you know! His reply was priceless.

You have to do this because (mimicking my voice) “I made this beautiful body AND poop chute AND bottom and I have to protect it. You always say this is your body, well your body needs its bottom wiped!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha, I would’ve been ROFL if I wasn’t mid wipe! KIDS!